Now that you’ve said, “yes” to being a bridesmaid let the planning begin! The level of time you’ll be committing depends on what kind of bride you have. She could be the gal who’s cool and easygoing, who practically floats through the wedding planning with not a strand of perfectly coiffed hair out of place. OR, you could face the hideous monster on the other end of the spectrum… you know who she is… FRANKENBRIDE! She’s the creature feared by bridesmaids across the country: the outrageously demanding bride who destroys any shred of joy you’d felt for this whole process.
Don’t worry, though, because most brides fall – manageably – somewhere in the middle. So what are the basic tasks a bridesmaid should expect to undertake? Let’s call the main duties “The Three P’s” which are: Plan, Party and Pay attention.
PLAN – The bridesmaids typically plan and pay for a party to “shower” the bride with gifts to help stock her new home. Take note, though, in some larger, expensive cities like New York (in which throwing a nice shindig might cost a month’s rent!) some brides’ parents are chipping in on the shower to defray the costs for the working bridesmaids.
PARTY – The showers are just the beginning of the festivities. The fun times continue with the bachelorette party. Who says only the guys get to have a final sendoff to singlehood? And don’t forget about the biggest party of all: the wedding reception. So make sure you’re ready to keep the mojo going on the dance floor. After all, the bridesmaids must put the party in “wedding party!”
PAY ATTENTION – This is the bridesmaid’s biggest task, yet sometimes the most ambiguous. It’s your job to pay attention to the bride from the moment she asks you to join her on this journey to the moment she waves goodbye for the honeymoon. This means the obvious: listen to her vent when her mother is turning into a tyrant about the centerpieces or when the groom is procrastinating with his family’s guest address list. But there’s also the not-so-obvious: offer to stuff invitations or help with the seating chart when her voice starts to quiver because she’s drowning in details for the wedding.
There are many more tasks ahead for the bridesmaid, especially if you’re the maid/matron of honor (see Maid Of Honor Basics article) or the bride expects you to be more a hands-on attendant. Through it all, remember a fourth “p” and that’s “patience.” This is the biggest day of the bride’s life and she just wants it to be perfect. So just roll with the punches and do the best you can to keep the peace!
RELATED ARTICLES
Maid of Honor Basics
Bridesmaid History
Budget Savvy
Timeline/Checklist