Getting hitched doesn’t always go off without a hitch. Your sweet, patient friend morphs into a demanding, foot-stomping Frankenbride. The maid of honor pushes for an over-the-top, no expense spared bachelorette excursion but she’s the only bridesmaid who can afford it. Another gal in the bridal party has disappeared off the edge of the world wide web and won’t return repeated e-mails.
You might also have an etiquette conundrum. Who takes the lead if a bride has chosen a maid and matron of honor? What happens if another bridesmaid drops out? Do you have to buy additional gifts if you attend more than one shower for the bride? Don’t cry in another cosmo because we’re here to help.
Send us your bridesmaid etiquette questions and dilemmas. We’ll help you with answers!
Q: Help! I am the MOH and planning the bachelorette party. The bride wants a night on the town. The only problem is that one bridesmaid lives in another state and another is underage. This leaves me and one other bridesmaid to foot the bill! Can I ask the bridesmaids who are not attending the party to pitch in at all? I don't know them very well at all...so if I can ask them...how do I do it?
A: Great question... don't worry though, because you have options! Here are a few ideas:
1. HALF & HALF NIGHT - Let's say the underage bridesmaid is "Jane," Invite Jane to the first "half" of the evening -- dinner at a hip/fun restaurant. She can not only help chip in on the cost of the bride's dinner (and drinks there) but she'll be part of at least a portion of the bachelorette festivities. Then the bridesmaids of drinking age can move on to take the bride out for the other "half" of the evening: a night at the bars.
Before Jane leaves dinner, though, you can consider asking her to pitch in some extra money for a drink you can purchase later that night for the bride "from" Jane. At least she's there in spirit (and "spirits!")
2. DOUBLE DUTY - To include everyone, you can try to hold the above-mentioned "half & half" night during the same weekend you're also having a wedding shower for the bride, if the out-of-state bridesmaid is planning to attend that party. That way, the out-of-state gal only has to make one trip and she'll be able to help split the bachelorette costs in person.
3. BRIDAL BUNCH - Another way to manage costs is to invite a bunch of the bride's gal pals to join you on the night out -- the more the merrier, right? You can let the other women know that everyone will "go dutch" on this night out and pay for themselves (except the bride -- she shouldn't pay for anything!). You can also make it a "specialty drink" themed night and ask them to plan to buy an extra round of their favorite drink... for the bride. She'll have fun trying new drinks and you'll save money on her bar tab.